Choose to Love

Everyone is busy in a relationship – either busy falling more in love or busy falling out of love.

When two people fall in love they have very little choice in the matter.  It either happens or it doesn’t (based mainly on biochemical triggers in the brain).  It’s what happens after the falling in love phase that determines how successful the relationship will be.

Everything that you do in your love life has an impact on your long-term relationship.  Your interactions (or lack thereof) trigger responses in your partner, either positive, negative, or neutral. But here’s something most people don’t realize – too much neutral equals negative.  So if you aren’t actively creating positive love experiences in your romance, your marriage will inevitably fade out.

People never seem to realize that they’re “falling out of love” in the moment. It happens because of several non-negative, but also non-positive, experiences stack together over time.  It happens slowly over time, and kind of sneaks up on most people.

So if you want to stay in love forever, you have to always work on creating new positive experiences for you and your spouse.

Here’s the good news – positive experiences together don’t have to be big things like special date nights, vacations to exotic locations, or big adventures.  In fact, those kinds of events are actually counter-productive if your day-to-day experiences are non-positive, because they emphasize just how non-positive the rest of your romantic life is!  You will gain more benefit to your love life if you work on making your day-to-day interactions with your spouse ones that you both love and enjoy.

So, think about the ways that you can make the time you spend with your spouse more fun, more enjoyable, and happier.  Then make the time and put forth the energy to make it real.  I guarantee that if you do, you’ll reverse any “falling out of love” trend you may be stuck in, and will start to feel that flame of love once again.

Remember: No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it is by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.

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