I believe wholeheartedly that men need to learn how to be present and support their women in moments of emotional stress. Being quiet and listening is one of the best ways to show your woman support. At the same time, I believe women need to learn how to pay attention to what their men see as well, and listen to the advice and suggestions that guys have.
Check out this clip, and you’ll see what I mean…
Men, who are often driven to do something, like to try and analyze the situation and determine the best course of action to resolve whatever the challenge is. While there’s certainly an emotional component of discomfort or stress or unhappiness, the primary motive is to alleviate those uncomfortable feelings in the quickest, most effective way possible. Men are usually direct, clear cut, and willing to try something rather than wait and see.
Women on the other hand tend to take a more circular approach. For women understanding how they feel about a challenge is often more important than understanding the challenge itself. Women usually don’t need to analyze the situation because once they’re in a positive emotional space about something they can come up with an idea about what to do. Women use emotional stability and support to determine their action and solve challenges; men use action and analysis to determine the best way to return to emotional balance.
So whenever a stressful situation arises, it’s no wonder that men and women argue over how best to proceed – they approach challenges in two very different ways! But here’s one huge relationship secret:
Men don’t want to listen to a woman who’s not willing to listen to him!
Many women complain that when their men don’t listen they feel ignored and unimportant. Yet, if a woman is unwilling to heed her man’s advice it will create a LOT of tension and disconnect for him. He will be the one feeling ignored, de-valued, and unimportant. Especially if the solution to the challenge is an obvious one.
While it’s important for a woman to have space to process and experience her emotions, it’s also a source of disconnect if she’s not willing to resolve the situation when a relatively simple answer presents itself. Men are great at finding those answers, and relationships benefit when women are willing to listen.
Remember: Sometimes, it really is about the nail…
What are some nails that people have tried to point out to you?