Romantic relationships are like rechargeable batteries. When they start out there’s a lot of juice, and when you get plugged into that energy life is wonderful. Over time though our love batteries can run low, and it’s at that point that you have to make a choice – to recharge your marriage or let it die.
We all need love and affection, and as with all of your needs, you’ll pursue fulfilling that need until it’s met. The only question is where are you going to get it. If you want you and your spouse’s needs for love and affection to be met by each other throughout your life, (i.e. If you want to have a successful long-term relationship), you need to work on recharging your love batteries. Otherwise you risk falling into the affair trap, where you or your spouse suddenly find your needs being met by someone else.
Successful long-term marriages require falling in love over and over again – always with the same person.
To do that you need to put time and energy into your marriage, if you expect to get love and intimacy back out of it. One of the best ways to do this is to spend time together having fun. Think back to some of the activities you did together when you were still dating, and create a special time to do it again – it could be dancing, or sitting on the porch talking, or playing a game together, or a picnic in the park. Whatever it was that drew you together in the first place, use that as a starting point to begin reconnecting and recharging again. Just make sure you’re both having fun.
And if there’s something that’s draining your connection energy, like criticism, judgmental statements, or insensitivity, then work on reducing or removing those behaviors, even if it’s only little by little. You want to have as much wonderful lovely energy together as possible, not be drained needlessly.
Be careful of the yo-yo effect too. Constantly waiting until your battery is fully drained before recharging it again will wear you both out. Such a constant state of up and down communicates that you only care about your marriage when it’s in a crisis. It sends a clear message that you don’t appreciate your spouse, you don’t respect them, and you take advantage of their presence (you assume they won’t leave). But of course, that’s not true for you, right? You do care about your spouse, and your marriage, and you really want it to thrive and flourish.
Remember: It is by participating more in your relationship that you breathe life into it. Keep charging up your marriage batteries, and you’ll soon enjoy that extra glow of a radiant love life.
What do you do to help recharge your love life batteries? What’s most fun for you as a couple? Please share in the comments section!