Romantic relationships (as most of us know) are not all about sex. There are many other needs and expectations that we want to have met from our partners, and most of them are non-physical. Most of the time when a couple isn’t having regular, fulfilling sex, it’s usually because one or both of them aren’t feeling emotionally connected with their mate.
A lot of men believe that women don’t enjoy sex as much as men, or don’t want sex as often as men do. But the reality is that women usually have a much stronger libido than men do, IF they feel truly connected to and turned on by their partner.
Most women are not consciously aware of just how strong their libido can be, but men do a lot that touches their women on a very deep level, and that definitely impacts their desire to be sexual with someone. Here are the top 3.5 reasons why most women will get turned off by a man, and what you can do about them.
1. It’s not all about sex! – This is perhaps one of the hardest things for men to understand about women and sex. For her, sex is not just about the physical act, but also everything else that leads up to being physically sexual. Every interaction you have with her (including those that are indirect) influences her desire for you, her libido.
The moment one act of sex ends, the next act begins, even if you don’t have physical sex again for days. The time in between being physically sexual is just as important to her – it’s the build-up, the anticipation, the emotional foreplay that keeps her interested and turned on. Learn to be affectionate and intimate in non-sexual ways – this is a need that most women have, and unfortunately most men don’t realize just how important it really is until it’s too late.
2. Bad sexual experiences – Many couples struggle to connect sexually because while sex is very straightforward for men, it can be very involved and complicated for women (at least from the man’s perspective). Couples who don’t actively work on having mutually enjoyable sex usually see their sex life plummet. Why would a woman want to have sex when sex isn’t enjoyable?
There are countless women who have never experienced a true orgasm before, or who haven’t orgasmed with their man. Here’s the secret: Sex education doesn’t end in high school. Having a fulfilled sex life involves continually learning more about how to please one another. Make the effort to make sex enjoyable for her.
3. Be a man, with heart – Women are attracted to strong, self-assured, confident men. That’s no secret. But what many men don’t realize is that being soft and tender touches women’s hearts in a big way. And it’s not just about showing your soft side to her directly, it’s about showing your soft side to others too.
Remember, it takes real courage to be a man with heart, but that’s what many women fall in love with, and that’s what many women expect to continue to have more of from their man as the relationship matures. That’s not to say you can’t be a man – remember she loves that about you too. But be man enough to live from your heart. A man who is too hard, harsh, rigid or stiff with others is a huge turn off for most women.
3.5 You have to make her laugh – Laughter is easily one of the top non-physical aphrodisiacs in world. If you can make her laugh, you can get her to relax around you, which is a huge part of making her want to be with you. But it has to be genuine. A sense of humor shows her that you don’t take the world or it’s stresses too seriously, and can handle life when it gets tough.
Remember, if a person isn’t feeling safe with you emotionally, they aren’t going to want to open up with you physically. If you want your sex life to get back to the way it used to be (or better) you need to restore that feeling of safety and trust, and create a deeper connection first.